Today is my personal international toilet day. Not only because my day starts normally with a small pit stop on this location but also one of my main working task was related to this topic. Maybe not all of you know, the Department Iām working for is TBCED2 ā yes this is how Airbus people introduce themselves. For the rest of mankind it means: Research & Technology Department for the Cabin section. So Iām related to all research for stuff which you as a passenger can see or even better touch.
So, as you can easily imagine, toilets on an airplane have also to be developed and this is not less important than e.g. the engines.
Failure onĀ the engines => people peeĀ themself andĀ emergency landing!
Failure on all Toilets => people peeĀ themself andĀ emergency landing!
So same same but different!
In a few weeks, there will be a big meeting some project leaders present their research status ā amongst others one of the toilet topics. The point Iām interested in is the exact timing. On such whole day full of meetings the agenda shouldnāt be too boring. So the question was ā is toilet an interesting topic or not? So my colleges ensure me toilet topics are the most interesting topics at all. As a conclusion of your discussion: Everybody feels like an expert on this, it isnāt long time ago that you used one and last but not least you can argue with: This is SHIT!
Needless to say, this is not enough for an international toilet day. On my way home I read in my book (First-Time Around the World) the toilet chapter *g*. Iām sure some of you remember our special moments related to this subject. In the book the author divided into squatter, almost-western and Japanese toilets. In my opinion āno toilet at allā is missing! For the people how have some problems to imagine this types I will try to explain the context in an engineering wayā¦
Squatter:
Something totally new for Europeans but I guess at least two billion people use this daily. The idea with these is that you squat over a hole a try to hit your target like a 52-bomber. Sometimes there are special marked areas on the left and right site you can step on. Biggest problem during the first experiences is keeping the balance. Falling back or frontwards is not recommendable. Of cause, you should also hit the target, especially the man should consider the blowback ā aktio = reaktio! If you think this sounds challenging ā imagine it is totally dark and you have another flashlight in the other hand š and after managing all this complexities you try to find the toilet paper. Now it is the right moment for one bad and one good news! Bad news ā there is probably no paper Ā at all. Good news ā the people are not that dirty and developed another method. Look at your left hand, if it is empty you are well prepared. May I shortly introduce ā your new toilet paper. No Iām not joking, there should be also a bowl of water which you can use to clean your hand afterwards but please donāt expect soup! So now you learned why no one in India touches people with the left hand. Welcome to real life š
Almost western:
Sometimes it happens that you enter a toilet and you see a toilet bowl. First impression: YES WESTERN STYLE but if you look closer you notice that the person which installed it was not that professional of even worse some people tried to figure out if their head or the bowl is stronger. Both possibilities head to even more complex squatter. Now you have to stay, hit the target and watch out that you donāt get injured by sharp edges. Beyond that, the problem with the toilet paper will remain. Often you get the possibility to use newspapers (not that bad) or even worse magazines. The glossy pages may look better but cost you hours to clean yourself. So the best tip ā bring your own toilet paper!!!
Japanese toilets:
If you think of the direct opposite of the just explained locations you have a Japanese one. This high-tech monster has often more wires than your computer and more buttons than you remote control. The high end version has internet connection, heated toilet seat, water cleaning system, air dryer, music box, massage functions, emergency button and automatic open/close function ā of cause all managed by a remote control. My first experience with this high-tech machine was, how should I say, refreshing. I was well prepared, not shocked by the number of buttons but still searching the right one ā the flush button. So I stated to push the biggest one ā and heard a flush sound ā first thought ā YES I MADE IT ā second thought ā maybe not there is no water coming *arg*. Next one was the massage function ā not so easy to find the stop buttons so before I found this one I activated the water cleaning system. I heard a hydraulic sound and felt seconds later a very very very stong water jet trying to enter my ass. I think was never sitting this concentrated and straight on a toilet. Afterwards I was lucky and found the air dryer but still no flush. After some more massage and some music songs I had to give up ā went to my office and asked one of my colleges: HOW IS THIS FUCKING TOILET WORKING ā maybe I asked more gentle but this is what I thought. Ā (The flush button is often a lever behind the toilet lid)
No toilet at allā¦:
Iām sure all people being with me in this moment can remember the situation in Namibia. We are in the middle of the desert and the truck stopped. Through the speakers we get the message ā toilet stop. I turned left ā no toilet ā I turned right ā no toilet, hmm maybe behind a bush??? Hmm there is no bush ā turned left again ā hmm still nothing. Door opens and our drivers explained in short words: Girls on the left, boys on the right. I have to say, it was not easy in the beginning but after some stops I got used to it. Anyhow there are some more things to mention. Sometimes girls havenāt the same understanding of left and right. So it can happen that you are a little bit faster than the others and you have the great idea to catch you small camera and go to the backside of the car to make some nice and innocent landscape shots. What I had to see there was not exactly what I expected. Life is not easy ā but brutal. Another good tip, especially for the girls ā if you have to go to a toilet which is more or less a hole in the ground in the middle of nowhere and there are mosquitos around ā they wonāt be as gentle as I was ā they will bite you ā some of you up to 50 times in one butt!
Iām sure all of you have special experiences which are related to this topic too ā so plz use the comment function to share it ;).
Good way to start a weekend is still going to the Reeperbahn and have some fun with friend/colleges. The core Taskforce team consists of 4 guys including myselfĀ but gets enlarged by other colleges/friend/girlfriends from time to time. So after almost one year in Hamburg :-0 (what I’m one year here, I have to pack my stuff ;)) – I’m still happy here in north Germany even if I have to adept myself every day anew. Some things whichĀ attracted myĀ attention:
Sorry for the long time off ā had a lot to do concerning work and some letās say turbulent times concerning private life. So now itās a little bit different so I try to use the time for some lines.
The big question for me is now ā Would I do this again or give up parts ofĀ it but having people at home who can probably understand at least a part of your trip? The answer today for me: YES travelling alone, which ends up with a lot of new friends, is my way of traveling. Definitely, distance is a big problem for these friendships but my most intense friendship started also with some distance and will survive equal how many km or milesĀ will be between us.